This year, the theme for National Foster Care Month is “Honoring, Uniting, and Celebrating Families.”
In May and June, we honor our parents with special dinners and activities on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. These holidays may represent sorrow instead of joy for individuals who wish to have children but have not been able to. Some who have become parents through adoption may wonder if their role as parent is equal to that of parents by birth. In addition, members of families that are no longer intact may experience conflicting emotions about celebrating Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
Many couples are presented with a diagnosis of infertility, which encompasses a wide range of medical problems that prevent conception and/or carrying a pregnancy to term. Individuals affected by infertility may struggle to decide whether to undergo testing, whether to pursue fertility or other treatments, and whether to continue attempts to build a family with children. The attention showered on parents on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day may heighten feelings of sadness or loss for those who are addressing fertility issues. However, many options and sources of support are available. RESOLVE, the national infertility association, has wonderful resources available on its website, including links to support groups, as well as information for family and friends of individuals struggling with infertility.
When families are formed through adoption, whether at the time of the child’s birth or later, the child’s relationship with the birth family as well as with the adoptive family must be honored. Most adoptions in recent years are open in some manner. An open adoption does not necessarily include direct contact with the birth family, but always acknowledges the fact of the adoption. Children, adoptive parents, and birth parents all must address their emotional response to issues related to the adoption. Pennsylvania provides post-adoption supports to all adoptive families through the Pennsylvania Statewide Adoption and Permanency Network (SWAN).
When parents do not reside together, the children suffer if both parents do not encourage a strong, positive relationship with the other parent. It is important for the children to enjoy their relationships with mothers as well as fathers, regardless which parent has primary custody. For this reason, each County in Pennsylvania requires parents who pursue shared custody through the courts to participate in a course that addresses co-parenting skills. The truth is, all parenting relationships are vital to the children. Each parent should endeavor to honor the role of the other parent, and to encourage children to do the same.
Rebecca Young applies her background as a therapist and psychologist to her legal work. Her practice concentrates on issues affecting children and families, including adoption, custody, guardianship, and estate matters.
heARTbeat is a publication of KingSpry’s Adoption Law and Assisted Reproductive Technology Law Practice Group. It is meant to be informational and does not constitute legal advice.
